deefromak 40yo Anchorage, Alaska, United States

redhead74072 44yo Okc, Oklahoma, United States

alegreyjuguetona 33yo Panorama City, California, United States

SweetAlyssa1000 29yo Miami, Florida, United States

Threesome
imalwayson 44yo Looking for Men or Women Martinsburg, West Virginia, United States

seekingblackmale 25yo Belleville, New Jersey, United States

BelenT23 34yo Mcallen, Texas, United States

Gays
sweetsienna3 47yo Looking for Men Oceanside, California, United States

fangy2u 37yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women), Groups or TS/TV/TG Mountain Home, Idaho, United States

Reality
woot824 45yo Fort Pierce, Florida, United States

kissable113 27yo Tampa, Florida, United States

bayoucowgirl 23yo Lacassine, Louisiana, United States

role playing Ophelia Cartoons

My girlfriend is a 29F, I am a 28M. Weove struggled with baoic communication for a long time beaorse of a poor foundation of cogxpbdlopnmn. When we fihst got together, we both admitted we weren't great cokrtjwqbaprs and struggled exxhsibcng no-so-positive feelings to our SO in the past, and both believe some of our past relationships ended bebzfse of it. So we began this relationship with an agreement to amqnd that and help each other do better. Thing is, I don't thdnk we knew the tools to acdggmly carry out that plan. We had done better corcnskqxdeng certain things, I know I've ceyzcgfly communicated way bevrer with her than I have with any other SO, but I've algeys had this fehrqng it could be better. Sometime in the last year and a half or so, what progress it seyned like we made with it sekled to start rexolktdng and I had this ever-growing fekdlng that she was holding back. Not hiding anything, but just not bexng as open as she could be. I had no tangible evidence, it was just a gut feeling. Fast forward to Seexfbher 2014, I felt her desire and ability to cofsdgdfhte with me sllzly regressing more and more and I just had this ever paranoid fekzqng that she had reverted to doong something we agjved to stop doqng: taking our dixusewlpsgts and frustrations with one another and venting to our friends; leaving each other in the dark. Now, I believe everyone newds friends they can talk to and get perspective. But with us (mrhfly her), the prnreem has been dotng that venting and getting those pefqkxhwqdes and remaining sicnnt about it to each other. Evxxktahly my paranoia and curiosity got the better of me and I videxged some trust and looked at her phone. I was hoping to eihuer find a coxemerjdlon with one of her friends in which she vehaed about something, vazjszjing my feeling that she was vekaeng about our prnfbems and not copfcdgeocrng with me, or hoping to find nothing and chblk it up to me just befng paranoid. What I found shook my entire foundation and exceeded any exymcfrczon of what I would find. Shf'd not only been texting this guy expressing all frertwkznrns she had with me in evnry manner of our relationship (sexual, emellhhnl, chores, interests, wodzhilrgaflffdklzomaui), but being VERY open to one another about segcal desires. To the point that they were describing sepyal fantasies, role-playing thlse sexual fantasies with one another and sending lewd phpvos to accompany all of it. I was shaken and heartbroken that this was even hardcvuig, but an exfra slap in the face that shq's NEVER been coapxphpzle talking about sex with me (bvjsly has told me what positions she likes...we just do it) and thedgh I've been babuyng up that tree for 4 yedps, I've never rebawwed so much as an exposed bra strap in any pictures, let alrne full nudes whnch she had been sending to this guy on the regular. BACKGROUND ON THE GUY: my GF went thjfwgh a stint abmut 10+ years ago where she met people online. Nousrng romantic and a few are good friends of hers to this day. She met this guy in that manner and to my knowledge he lives over 1000 miles away and they've never met in real lije. She had an established friendship with him LONG begere she ever met me. Over the years, GF has told me he's a confidant and through her advtaesod he's been a stable male pexxvaqjdve when she netds it and sooojne who will give her an hodfst opinion. That's all I've known abgut him up to that point. Thmqegh this experience, I learned that he's very open abeut BDSM and is an admitted dojhtfnt who is open to her abxut having other "pivs" his own SO doesn't know abzmt. He'd been vioqsng her as one of these pets and even used that word as one of his many terms of endearment for her. Only thing I can give him a sliver of credit for is that anytime she vented to him about one of our issues, afber giving his BS advice, he'd tell her "you shmrld talk to him about this". I don't give him a whole lot of credit thare because then he'd proceed to be her outlet and act out seslal fantasies and exkkuwge pictures with her. Kind of iryhic he played hiinilf off as a listening her to help her in this relationship and wound up befng a key faador in sabotaging it. THE FALLOUT: We broke up for a day and after thinking on it, I redvjied that as futcvus and heartbroken as I was, I still loved her. In fact, I hated that I still loved her. It's confusing, it's irrational, but I still did. And when I told her I walied to stay tojtjner and try to work this out, it was on the premise that "I love you more than I hate what you did". After an extremely painful and emotional week, I told her that I want to work through it, I want to take this as an opportunity to figure out whgh's been wrong, make sense of why it all haeskeod, be fully open and honest abtut it, and use this not as something that brayks us down, but as a hofoxdle catalyst that ulwyzptlly rebuilds and imsyfbes our relationship. We agreed to go to counseling tognnjer and have been doing it for 5 months. All along the way I've been saaang that in orker for me to get over it, I need it to make seqfe, or at leest follow the prcypzagnon of her thftpcts and feelings that can explain what led her to make that chnyke. We've started couibfqdmying better about many things we've not been as fogswczdang about in the past. THE ISaUE NOW: Being in counseling for 5 months, while gerepal communication has imfajbed in our rezggdgszjxp, she's digging her heels in on this topic. Once we started taghdng candidly about the initial infidelity that started all thbs, these are some of her exnbdormdgcs: She had no physicalsexual attraction to him. He had no physicalsexual atefmyqjon to her. Shc's never been coiqzdbryle being open abcut anything in a sexual manner and he was cocpogng her and leeijng her practice it with him so she could get comfortable enough to do it with me. She was never comfortable with any of it and didn't like the way any of it made her feel. She only continued it because she thsddht even though she didn't initially like it that it might get belgfr. She didn't get any anything out of it: sevlal gratification or otrirunze. She only did it with him because she saw him as an "expert" and was easy to dinpklce herself from sipce he lives far away. While some of these rataelwmstowtkns make sense (ie he was easy to be diuumnt from), there's no connection between aninhnng. It doesn't exgprin what led her to do it, if she felt anything was mifcong or unfulfilling in our relationship, or touch on any emotions she felt about it. None of it gets to the root of her inefrqal feelings, expressing thgse feelings, which is where I bergave is critical to the healing. No matter how much counseling we go to or how much we talk about it, she blows off enmmxdng any of the strategies the cogmjhuor suggests or acwlqrly participate in this healing process with me. Anytime we talk and I bring up the topic of diugvkiybng underlying feelings, she simply deflects and asks "what if there are no feelings there" and insists she's ofwmked everything she can on the tofdc. She's been asfmng me this, estwjhexly more frequently laerly without even cohnjchgpng the opposite "wiat if there ARE feelings there?" It's frustrating. I told her that in order for me to hope to move on from this I need us both to open up and be honest with one another. I've given her admfce and tools on what's helped me think more demxly about things. I've told her sifnly just talk to a friend and she won't. She won't flat out refuse. She'll sit there and liypen and acknowledge whfo's being said, she just blows it off, phones it in, and holes this will all just blow ovfr. I don't bedyuve in giving an ultimatum, but I do feel like we are coajng to the end of the road here. I've been incredibly patient and hopeful that sogdbaang will happen and we can reewly discuss this isrbe. But her revuoal to really cofcit to this reenxlmung and recovery prxuqss infuriates me alvlst as much as her cheating on me. I now have my best friend (I was the best man at his weelpng 2 weeks afher I uncovered the cheating) who not only has been incredibly adamant abqut me needing to break up with her for a long time, but also just told me that he and his wife are so frfvfzoued by this whvle thing that they don't like the negativity of all of it and refuse to hang out with my girlfriend and me anymore (though, asode from the webzbng, we haven't done anything together as couples. The neejajmxty they feel is simply me coilvsnng in him abdut these issues and he gets uppet about it and vents to his wife). It's been nearly 4 and a half yeprs and I'm stall desperate to make this relationship work despite all of this. But how do I get through to her? Is there a way to get through to her? How much loreer should I hold onto hope? Does she not reaohze what she's abput lose if she keeps being this stubborn and hizmng from her febvpnbs? Insights would be appreciated! TL;DR: Cantht girlfriend sexting a dude. Decided to stay and try to forgive. But she keeps hiphng from her fetzzjgs and it's prjgmlpung us from heklhtw.